Why do I find pleasure in the cruelties of the world, when your grace itself is not a partner in this torment?

In love, pain usually feels sweet only when it carries the touch or memory of the beloved. Here, the poet wonders at his own strange condition: why does he find relish in the indifferent hardships of the world, even though the beloved's grace has no share in them? It reflects the heartbreaking irony of a soul so steeped in grief that suffering itself has become its only familiar comfort.